Day 31

Break Through

You would think that the climb out of a mental hole of that magnitude and finding balance again would take a monumental effort.  Lots of pushing and scratching and clawing to get back to the place you were before.  I expected that.  Last time I got dragged down into the undertow of my own anxiety and insecurity it took me a week to nurse myself back to some semblance of subdued happiness.  This was not the case, and that makes for one of the absolutely most rollercoaster weeks I have ever had.

Once the numbness set in and I stopped sliding deeper and deeper into this negative funk that had gotten a hold over me, the way back was surprisingly swift.  Where I thought that the negativity would cling to me, I just shed it off me and started moving forward.  I know that there is something to be said about self-awareness.  I knew the state I was in, and I knew it wasn’t healthy to stay there so I moved ahead.  I found what I needed to find within myself to pick things up and keep going.  I just wish this self-awareness thing worked more like a smoke detector and not a firetruck hose.  That way the flames would be avoided.   

Return back to Month Two here.

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