I could not hold back the tide. I could not hold up the dam with my fingers. I could not roll the barrel uphill anymore. I am fucking exhausted. Both physically and mentally. I just do not have the energy to keep going like this. Something had to change. So as much as it hurt me to do, I reached out. I figured that saying what I had to say and explaining the situation might help some. If not for anything, at least it would stop eating me up from the inside out and I could start healing, or at least sleeping a bit.
A step back is in order. I honestly, cannot think there is a better way to go about this. Things need to cool off and that will not happen if things start getting rehashed and retold over and over. That will help no one, really. If things are heated and tempers are flared, it will not take long for the wrong thing to be said. So, the best choice for me and everyone is to just take a step back and cool off. And hopefully that will not come back to haunt me.
Return back to Month Three here.
One thought on “Day 87”
Oh hun, please don’t step back all the way. You are loved and wanted, more than you know I think.