Very very difficult day, this one. I can easily say that I was at my nadir on this day. There have been situations in my life where sadness and grief are unrelenting…. but for a reason. A sudden loss, an accident, something tragic that jolts you to your core… but again… for a reason. That makes sense. It is logical to feel that way when something happened to you that caused you great loss and sadness. What about when it just surfaces to the top?
It is hard to put into words the amount of emotional negativity I felt myself go through. Even the good words of my dear friends, given out of support were weighing me down. And that has never happened to me before. To take something pure given in support and care and in my mind turn it into something painful. It took a lot of time, dedication and support to finally start feeling numb. The first step to recovery.
Return back to Month One here.