Empty and Alone
These peaks and valleys are so draining to me. Moving forward had never been very difficult for me. I have lived my life moving forward, and some people envy me that. I’ve even been told so directly. Yet I feel… stuck. And I have no energy to move forward. I’m literally sinking in the quicksand of my own mind…. of my own creation, and I don’t know how to get out of it. For the first time in my life, I don’t know if I CAN get out of it.
This is not what I was expecting when I woke up today. I’m being blindsided and sabotaged, and it’s all coming from me. My thoughts… my dreams… my fantasies and aspirations. Everything that I want to be is there in the future in this beautiful dream, a la Happy Gilmore. And that puts me in my happy place. And then I wake up… and reality hits me like a bucket of ice water. And that’s when I realize… I feel empty and alone.
Return back to Month One here.